I don’t recall if a trip to Paris or anywhere in France was ever on my bucket list. I have no recollection of really daydreaming about being anywhere in France or anything in relation to it or the French for that matter. Well, maybe Lourdes… I think my mom and I somehow wanted to go on a pilgrimage there but that’s about it and after she died it just wasn’t something I really wanted to do anymore.
After my trip to Paris I feel like my life turned around. It’s like I have met my “alchemist” and I have evolved… this person had the Midas touch… though we have never physically touched… he has touched my spirit and blew life into my otherwise dead shell… my world was transformed since I met him. I wouldn’t really give him all the credit. There’s magic to being in a new place and Europe is breathtaking… Italy was luscious landscape, bursting with culture and history! Paris is quite alluring, Venice is just so… I can’t even find the words…
It’s been half a year since that day and I still feel like I am dreaming and I do not want to wake up because it is such a good dream. I feel like I don’t even know which one is real… is this my reality or the one before that trip? Before I crossed that “portal” if you may. I do not feel comfortable to disclose the exact day in September that I feel I have passed through that Paris portal that transformed my life maybe forever (hopefully not temporarily) but either way, I embrace it because I have been so sad for a long time… I feel like I have lost my passion for life and I forgot what used to make me happy. Then all of a sudden it hit me… I have found joy again… and excitement… and I could not contain it. It was like a drug… and I couldn’t stop smiling and giggling… I had so much energy.
And you know what else… I found self esteem!!! I came out of there the same middle aged woman with wrinkles, extra weight, love handles, droopy boobs, cottage cheese but this time I didn’t give a flying rat’s a$$… I feel younger, I look younger… I feel like I can take on more stuff on my bucket list… I can’t explain it and I don’t care to… I’m happy and that’s all that matters to me now. I embrace it.
~~~ Namaste ❤ MariaeZen
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